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Gujarati Grammar Book For Talati
And then, one member who was the leader of the community I belong to and who also happened to be family spoke a few words about my father. And then he said, “Actually this man would have lived longer. But the cause of this man’s death is a son.” He called me the killer of my father. Did you hear that? Could there be an insult worse than that? That night when I went to my mom’s house, even after years of my spiritual practice, I was tossing and turning as these words rang in my ears, that I was the killer of my father. It was because of me that my father had died. Ladies and gentlemen, my mind was restless. My emotional state had been disturbed. And when your emotional state is disturbed, you can’t sleep, you can’t get anything of your life… your experience of life is proportional to your emotional state. Therefore, William Blake said the mind can make a heaven out of hell or hell out of heaven.
That night as I tossed and turned, I remember one statement my guru Radhanath Swami, the author of The Journey Home… if you can grab it, read it; a beautiful book. He said, “Do not give the remote control of your emotions to someone else.” That man by what he was saying was pressing a button on the remote control and making me feel trash. I depend on you to say that your talk was great and feel good, and I depend on you to say that my talk was bad, and I feel trash. That means I’ve given the remote control to you. I feel good because you make me feel good. I feel bad because you make me feel bad. And how shallow is life? Well, I don’t have the guts to take control of my emotions in my own hands. Ladies and gentlemen, we have to learn how to take control of our feelings in our own hands. I will not allow any damned person under the sun to make me feel good or bad by what he or she says.
If they say good, fine, that’s good—appreciation, nice. I’m happy with it. And even if they trash me, fine; it’s their opinion. It’s the way they think. Ladies and gentlemen, the trunk is our physical and our emotional stability. And I’m not getting into the physical well-being, because of the paucity of time obviously. And the last one is the CROWN. The crown is our contribution to the world. The crown is where the fruits come. The crown is where the leaves come. The crown is where the flowers come. And the fruits are for others. The flowers are for others. The leaves are for others. The shade that the crown of the tree gives for others. Our contribution to others. I’m saying this because people say that life is like ice cream, you should enjoy it before it melts. It’ll indeed melt away. I say life is like a candle. You should bring light to others before it melts.
Both the ice cream melts, and the candle melts. But the ideology behind the ice-cream is selfish enjoyment. And the ideology behind the candle is a selfless contribution, selfless service to others. And each of us in our own ways must learn how to contribute, like the crown of the tree. I must end with this little thing that I want to say. This last one point I would like to mention is this: if you have ever been on a flight, the members of the cabin crew will come there and say: ladies and gentlemen, this is a seatbelt. I know. This is how you buckle it.
I know. I know some pilots are sitting here; I must apologize. If there’d be a lack of oxygen supply in the cabin, oxygen masks will drop from the cabin above your heads. Secure your mask properly and breathe normally. Make sure your oxygen mask is secured properly before you help others.
God, I thought this is the height of selfishness. But if you don’t keep yourself in place, you can’t help others. If you don’t have resources, you cant share your resources. If you don’t feel loved, you can’t share the love. If you don’t feel hope, you can’t give hope. If you don’t feel uplifted, you can uplift others. Therefore be selfish first. Care for your roots. Care for your trunk, because only when your roots and trunk are in place, then the crown can give others. How many of you look to like to look beautiful? Any of you like to look handsome? Those who are not raising the hands think they are already good-looking.
Anyway, that’s another story about it. One lady teacher came to class and wrote on the whiteboard: I am beautiful; which tense is it? The student says past tense, madam. You know, our late president Shri Abdul KalamJi said a very nice thing which left a deep mark on me. He said, if you really want to look handsome, give your hand to some. And you will automatically look handsome becausehandsomeness is not about beauty and looks, it’s about how we contribute to people. I conclude by saying, if you are beautiful, it’s God’s gift to you. If you live your life beautifully, it’s your gift to God.
And therefore the Tree of Life is about three things: ROOTS, unseen to the world. Deepen them by connection to the divine, connection to God, your spiritual practice, your meditation, your prayer. The TRUNK is about the cultivation of emotional and physical wellness, emotional stability. Do not allow others to remote-control you. And three, the CROWN is about contribution. Giving, returning back, a sense of purpose, because the purpose of life is a life of purpose, and thus, the Tree of Life teaches us three things: connection, cultivation, and contribution. Ladies and gentlemen, I wish to thank all of you very, very much for your kind attention. Thank you very much.