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Speaking to them about – I mean are we…what are we doing? What we doing is it right, is it, are we comfortable with it, you know, so. Zainab: So how did you go about that? Aamir: Well, I, mean in all our shows, in all our topics we’re just honest, but we do it with a lot of love. We do it with a lot of love so that people… Let me say this much that while the majority of the people have loved our show, there has been a minority, probably in every topic, that doesn’t like us. Like there is a couple of men’s organizations that hate me.
They keep writing to me emails about men’s problems and why don’t you take up men’s problems. So we did in fact in our last season picked up masculinity. What is, what is it to be male? Because we figured that, unless we, unless we relook at and hopefully redefine what a man is, you know, things are not going to change.
So, a woman has, you know, the woman has changed, a woman is changing, but, but men don’t manage to change by and large. By and large, we’ve done a lot. So we thought we’d look at what is a real man. Is a real man someone who goes and beats up people? Is a real man a person who is a protector, is he the guy who’s going to, you know, so what’s a real man? I mean we strongly feel that we have to, from the time that the child is born, you have to treat both children equally, whether itis a boy or a girl and you have to allow the boy child to cry.
You have to allow him to cry, because the first thing they tell a boy when he cries, “Don’t cry. Are you a girl, why are you crying?” So he grows up feeling that I’m not supposed to cry and when you tell a child not to cry, you are actually removing him further and further away from his emotions. He’s feeling something and you are not allowing him to feel that.
So you are distancing him from his emotions and then you are surprised why he’s beating up his wife, because he actually, the fact that when you, you tell the child that it is perfectly alright to cry, it’s perfectly alright to feel terrible, it’s perfectly alright to feel scared. Most boys are told, “Hey, you can’t feel scared, you’re a boy”, “are you scared of the dark”, “come on, go on, go to the roof alone”, you know. So boys feel scared and wê have to tell that small child of four that it’s alright to be scared, you know, and so that boys can grow up more sensitive.
Right now we are creating boys, or we mean we are working to creating boys WHO grow up to be insensitive. When Masculinity Harms Men Aamir: There’s a portion of the show, which, in which I am told by another man, he says that, you know, in India real men don’t and real men don’t hold their wives hands.
The wife walks two, three feet behind. Now, you must understand, India is a large country, so, and I’m saying this, don’t take this literally, this is mostly in rural India and there are, there are a lot of extremely progressive people in India as well, so I don’t want to give you the wrong impression, but this is an issue. There are villages in India, in rural India, where this is the belief, this is how they’ve grown up.
So, on the show, I did say, I said, you know based on all of this definition of what a real man is, I’m completely not a real man, because I hold my wife’s hand all the time, I hug my children. You’re not supposed to hug your children, you not supposed to show affection to your child, as a male – a true male.
So, I hug my children all the time, I cry all the time. I was crying just before I entered the stage. Zainab: True, it is true, yes. We were both crying actually. Aamir: I was listening to, what’s her nameCeyda? I was listening to her speak and I was in tears, so I cry all the time. Zainab: Have you cried in movies, on TV? Aamir: On TV, on TV every episode of mine, yeah. Zainab: Excellent. Aamir: Not a single episode goes by that I don’t cry and it’s not even during the show itself.
It is even when I’m researching it. You know, when you are researching these topics, it takes days for us to go through all the material we collect and invariably in every topic that we’ve picked, we go through, we go, we get to a point where I and Satyaand Swati and all of us get so disheartened. I’m looking at an interview and I’m weeping and we kind of shut it off and be like, you know, why are we doing this? Nothing’s going to change. You suddenly feel very disheartened, but then you come across a person who is working in that and has got so much strength and so much resilience, so much grace and such dignity, that it brings you back to your feet. You know.